I am having some serious identity issues- HELP?
I аm African American, аnd I аm 16. I lіkе a variety οf things, lіkе art (painting, drawing, sculpture), аnd variety οf music (lіkе rock, soul, hip hop, alternative, аnd ѕοmе folk, etc.).
And I delight іn classic movies, аnd a lot οf οthеr stuff,
Bυt, dοеѕ anyone еlѕе hаνе a problem trying tο find out whаt “group” уου identify wіth??
Sіnсе I’m іn highschool, thats аll thеrе іѕ- “groups”
And I don’t know hοw tο express fοr myself sometimes, bесаυѕе thе thουght οf conformity confuses mе tеrrіblу. I feel lіkе I аm nοt expressing fοr myself tο thе fullest. I even feel plain аnd ordinary аt times.
Whаt tο dο?
Even as a large part of high school is about ‘fitting in’ and finding your ‘social circle’, it is not for everyone.
Most people have an innate desire to find their place among the crowd, but there is truly too much emphasis place on it all.
Groups tend to water people down, anyway. If you just group everyone together, all you have are stereotypes. I’ve found that the best mark for for myself was not, ‘Jock’, ‘Goth’, ‘Emo’, ‘Prep’, ‘Nerd’, or the likes — it was simply ‘Me’.
Accept yourself and be pleased with who you are, and you will not need such ill-defining marks. You will find other individuals that you can identify with and who will accept and like you for who you are — and not what you can call yourself.
Expression can come in many forms; through art, dance, literature, music, or even something as simple as the bracelets you wear. Be creative and do what feels most natural to you. Do not dread ostracism from others.
Be yourself.
ok, this is just my humble attitude coming from a rotten childhood where i knew i did not want to become like my mother. So i chose who i wanted to be and worked on those attributes and became the person i wanted to be, so choose who you admire and what attributes you want to possess and work to become that person. find friends who share your same interests. you sound mature and intelligent so find that group but don’t limit your friends to that group or you will miss out on some fantastic friendships that may possibly last a lifetime! Variety is the spice of life… you can never have too many friends!! excellent luck and hope this helps atleast a small!!
You don’t sound plain and ordinary to me…
Pursue ALL of your interests — this will mean that you will be involved in some unrelated groups. I feel this will be the best thing in the long run because you will have a wide variety of friends interested in things you delight in — no matter how diverse.
I kind of had the same thing in high school — sort of a “brain” and sort of not. So I was in Drama, Future Teachers, French Club, and so on. I never felt like I really fit in, but we recently had a reunion from my high school and it was fascinating to find that others didn’t see me as a “shy retiring type” — they admired that I seemed to fit in everywhere. I never saw that when I was a kid.
You’ll find who you are by sampling many groups and interests. It’s wonderful that you realize now that your interests are so diverse!!!
If you are worried about fitting in with a group, you’re part of the largest group there is. Even though you may not notice it, all of your classmates are having the same feelings. (Well, there are a few people, probably 1 out of 50, who aren’t having those feelings, which earnings they have serious personality disorders and you should stay away from them.)
It’s hard for your classmates to connect with other people for the same reason it’s hard for you. One thing that makes it simpler, though, is working on a scheme together that takes everybody’s mind off those worries.
Get involved with school activities and you’ll connect with like-minded people–everybody feels a lot more comfortable when they share common interests.
If you’re into art, maybe there’s an art club you can join.
being a childish confused teenager just like everybody else being 16……there is your group
I reckon the best thing you can do to feel stronger in yourself is to spend time with people who are mature, positive, and who you admire. People that really notice, accept, and see you and reflect back a positive image to you of who you are. This will make you feel excellent about yourself. And you should have someone like this that you can trust to talk to about personal problems. If there is no one like this in your life already, then find a excellent counselor or therapist that you really like. Over time, this will give you confidence and a strong sense of who you are and your unique specialness. One of my pet quotes: “you are absolutely unique and special, just like everybody else”
Don’t even try to mark yourself, other people will do that for you. Just be right to who you are and do what feels right, not just what seems simpler or cooler. Aproach everyone as a friend no matter what group they belong to. Some will accept you, some won’t but don’t let it be your problem let it be thiers.